1. Get a Job/Volunteer/Take a Class...or SOMETHING.
Now, you may think...isn't single mommyhood hard enough without having to work full time on top of that? That's where you're wrong. Working was my sanity saver of single motherhood. It lets you use the intellecual side of your brain (not just the mommy side) AND you get things like....lunch breaks without a kid....social time with other adults and of course, you can't complain about the money. It also makes time go faster...and that's always a good thing!
2. Find good child care
You're not going to be able to watch your child 24-7 for the next 6+ months....so find someone who can help. I was lucky to find one near where I work that had a really good reputation.
3. The Ultimate Survival Secret...
Daycare 5 days a week, Work 4 days a week! 1 day for Mommy Day! This was truly my ultimate survival secret. I was able to cut my work hours down to 4 days a week (luckily I have a very understanding employer) and have one day to myself. One day a week I could clean the house, do some cooking, and shopping...or sometimes...just crash! Of course, it was a bit less money, but when it comes to your sanity...who cares about money? Besides...with husband gone you are saving some money on things like groceries/utilities/gas etc. anyway right?
4. Get a NEW Hobby
With a lack of husband, you're going to find yourself with some free time. You may find after a while of watching a zillion movies that things start to get a bit boring. Try a new hobby. For me, photography was something I always wanted to learn more about, so I started taking photos a few times a week during my lunch hour (to get out of the office). It's also been nice to have some cute photos to show daddy of what we've been up to while he's been gone.
5. Laundry
The good news is...there is going to be a lot less of it! The bad news...it's still got to be done. For me...I took a short cut in this department. Clothes all lived in the laundry room. We made (with the help of my mom) a closet in the laundry room, so that I could wash them and hang them and leave them there. We got dressed in the laundry room and put the dirty clothes back in the laundry room. No hauling baskets of clean/dirty clothes up the stairs etc. etc.
6. Groceries
The less you go shopping, the better! I found I could get it down to twice a month. I wish I could get it to once a month. I did this on my day off, as going to the grocery store with a terrible two year old was...well...terrible!
7. Cooking
I have to do most of the cooking after the little one is in bed...I have learned to do a lot of freezer cooking though. The Big Cook is my favorite cook book at the moment. It shows you how to make lots of meals really fast and put them all in your freezer. The only problem I found was that these meals are made for families of 4...so I had to split everything in half and then freeze it.
8. Exercise
Unfortunatley it took me 7 of the 8 months to figure this one out. Exercise gives you the extra energy to be a 24-7 mom. Also helps you to be stronger. You're going to need the extra muscles as you're going to do all the lifting/hauling/carrying of 40 pound children etc. etc. while daddy is gone.
9. Sleeping In
Unfortunatley you will never (unless by some miracle your child decides to sleep in) be able to get as much sleep as you would like. So, once in a while, I reccomend sleeping in - backwards. That's where you put the kid to bed and then put yourself to bed asap...forget the dishes/cleaning/laundry for one night. Go to bed at 9 instead of your usual 11... It's just as good as a sleep in :)
10. Staying in Touch with Daddy/Husband.
Technology has come so far and we are lucky for that. See if daddy can get a laptop and a webcam for free chats. The little one loves to see daddy and it's much more fun than the phone, as he can read stories/show military items for entertainment.
11. Our Typical Weekday
- 7:00 - wake up
- Visit/Play for a while
- Turn on the TV (ha ha)
- Go get breakfast ready and pack lunches
- Eat Breakfast
- Get Dressed (TV still on)
- Get little one dressed
- Run out the door (being sure not to forget one of the 10 things you are going to have in your hands)
- Drop off kid at daycare
- Put Makeup On
- Go To Work
- Leave Work
- Pickup Kid from Daycare
- Go Home
- Distract the kid with toys/tv/something while you warm up Dinner
- Eat Dinner
- Go Outside for a walk or do another quiet activity with the little one
- Bath (BOTH OF YOU - big time saver!)
- 8:00 pm Bed for Kid
- Cook dinner for next day/Straighten up House/Laundry etc.
- Go to Bed (try for 10:30pm or earlier)
REPEAT
12. Our Typical Weekend
- 7:00 - wake up
- Visit/Play for a while
- Turn on the TV (ha ha)
- try to pass out on the couch as long as possible till the kid bugs you for breakfast.
- Eat Breakfast
- Get Dressed
- Get little one dressed
- Leave the House for a morning activity
- Home for lunch (something quick and easy, that the toddler will have fun preparing with you)
- NAP TIME!!! Be sure to have a nap too
- Afternoon Activity - Leave the house
- Home for Dinner
- Go Outside for a walk or do another quiet activity
- Bath
- 8:00 pm Bed for Kid
- Cook dinner for next day/Straighten up House/Laundry etc.
- Go to Bed
13. Support
Here's one I procrastinated on. The Military Family Resource Center is really a great place. I wish I had contacted them sooner. Try to contact them as soon as possible, to see how they can help you. Other things I found helpful were facebook military wives groups and other canadian military wives websites.
14. The Library!!!
I have grown to really love the library. I think we're pretty lucky because the Calgary library system is gigantic! I probably take out 20+ items a month-ish. New Music in the car always keeps the little one quiet, and new children's videos are always a good way to distract them! Also a good place to find books for your new hobby, or just to read for fun.
15. Final Thoughts
It's going to be hell. But eventually it will end. And then you have to adjust to not being a single wife...now that you've got it all figured out ;)
Wow..that was long. I could probably write a lot more...feel free to let me know your tips too - maybe I could make a website out of it...or a book or something ;)
1 comments:
I think that this can apply to those without kids as well. My biggest thing has been the support system! Without it, I would be miserable all of the time instead of just once in a while.
And I think you should write a book. I'll help! We can title it "I didn't get married to be single!"
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